Pie Bar Sets the Bar

Don't want a drink with your pie? Order from their take out window!

To say my experience at this next toilet was an enigma would be an understatement.

If you couldn't care less about my story and obligatory description of the establishment (and seriously, no shame in it) click here to head straight to my review. Be warned, this one's a long one!

This Friday, on a late-night craving, my friends and I headed down Pike to Pie Bar on Olive Way. I had been there once before last year and had a slice of their apple crumble. It was a bit pricey but it was good and let's be real, what isn't pricey in this city?

A drawing of Shaggy outside Pie Bar's window.

The nocturnal business, open from 5 p.m. until "super late" (2 p.m.) is a quaint shop with limited indoor seating.

While looking up the business and trying to find their socials to share in this article, I stumbled across another business named Pie Bar which also happened to be located in Seattle.

I was a bit confused, and frankly still am, by the two businesses as they don't seem to be affiliated with one another. What's interesting is the URL for the Pie Bar on Olive is thegenuinepiebar.com and on their home page they say "original & only pie bar."

Is there some sort of 'beef' between the two establishments? Who came first (Pie Bar Capitol Hill was established in 2013 and Pie Bar Seattle created their Facebook page in 2014 but this isn't concrete evidence)?

Why do they both have a martini Space Needle as their logo and do they have the rights to use it? Why does it look like Pie Bar Capitol Hill's Instagram belongs to no one? But most importantly, am I reading into this?

If anyone knows the answers to these questions, please, put them in the comments because I am extremely curious.

As a yet to be (but very soon-to-be) 21-year-old, I unfortunately, could not review a drink or sit at the bar, but I did get to sneak in to use their toilet!

Up next is what this long and dragged-out article is really about!

A "slice" of apple crumble from Pie Bar Capitol Hill.

MY RATING OUT OF 5: 4

MY REVIEW:

The pie was delicious but not exceptional, especially at the price point of $6 a slice. Though, because it was an apple crumble, it was more of a scoop of pie than a slice of pie.

All the flavors of cinnamon and apple worked well together and it was overall a pretty standard apple crumble.

I did, however, appreciate that it was warm when I received it. Add a bit of cold vanilla ice cream and I might just give it five stars. I only wish they had more "crust" in their crust-to-filling ratio.

If you're looking for a late night snack and feel like paying $6 for a slice of pie, Pie Bar is the place for you!

MY RATING OUT OF 5: 1.5

MY REVIEW:

By now you're most likely wondering why I would title this article the way I did if this toilet received such a low score.

Well, it sets the bar, not for the best bathroom I've been to but for the worst and weirdest bathroom I've had the opportunity to use.

To remain transparent, I'll break down the score for this record-low rating.

Cleanliness: 1/5

The cleanliness honestly wasn't as bad as this picture might suggest. The floors were clear but had definitely seen better days.

The toilet itself was fairly clean and they had soap and paper towels but the toilet paper was on its last leg with no refills in sight.

You can't see it in the pictures and videos but there were hordes of cobwebs on the ceiling. I'm not sure if they were part of the decoration but regardless, I felt like I should have put my hood on just to be safe.

Is It Free?: 0/5

This score is at a zero partly because you have to be let into the building by staff to get to the bathroom but also because there was an "out of order" sign on the door when it was, in fact, not out of order.

I understand they might keep their front door locked for safety reasons, but the false "out of order" sign is a bit much.

Accessibility: 1/5

This was quite possibly the smallest single-stall bathroom I have ever used. I apologize for the bad video, but when one uses this bathroom they try their very best to quickly use and lose it.

The video was necessary to show just how small the space was and in trying to get the footage, I had to shuffle my feet in a circle, keeping my arms close to my body.

In short, the room was tiny, it was not well lit, and it was on a platform you had to step up to enter. Definitely not the best for accessibility.

Style: 4/5

This section of the scoring is their saving grace. For what the bathroom lacked in the previous sections, they almost made up for in style and experience.

The sink over the toilet was quirky and the rocks in the basin were an interesting addition. The faucet was also a pretty cool feature as it looked like an old-school water pump.

What really drove the score home (and this is said in irony) was the music. I love a little music in the bathroom to cut the silence but this was over the limit of necessary noise. Though the music was not blasting, the bass was so strong it felt like the walls were shaking.

The whole experience was so absurd I just had to chuckle in the end. Pie Bar definitely set the bar for the weirdest bathroom I've used in Seattle.